Girls night, mom’s night, ladies night

I should have stayed home because I am going to get really sick but I couldn’t help myself.  My friend invited me to a girls only potluck dinner party.  I love the whole idea.  Just the girls and the majority of women there I wouldn’t know.  My friend is a writer so the party was an eclectic mix of writers, school parents (her kids to go a different school than mine), new friends and old friends. 

I had a variety of interesting conversations. One woman was finishing up her film, another woman was publishing a young adult novel, one woman was a lawyer, another was an artist.  I spent a lot of time listening and asking questions.  Very interesting women who were balancing life, family and friends. 

One woman, who I have actually known awhile, said something to me that struck me.  She said that there were a group of women that we both know who are, as she called them, wealthy housewives.  She said I was a wealthy housewife but I wasn’t like them because I didn’t have those type of conversations.  It made me laugh.  She started to ask me what I was doing these days and I told her a little bit about the projects I am involved with. 

Wealthy housewife?  A good friend of mine gave me fantastic advice a little while back.  She said I always say  that I am just a Mom with a few things going on to keep busy.  She says, not true.  Take every day and color code your activities.  Blue for Mom, Green for real estate project, Red for pickles, etc.  She guaranteed that I would find that my day was actually pretty balanced.  That I am not just a Mom (BTW, that is the most important job of the lot). 

I am beyond fortunate that I can create my own personal career.  I know plenty of women like that and I also know plenty of women who work because they want to and work because they have to.  Figuring out the life balance is so damn tricky.  You want to be there for your kids because the benefits are obvious but you also want to do something for your own intellectual curiosity, drive and ego and for your kids to see you make a difference besides making a difference at home. 

I always find it insightful talking to different woman and the choices they have made.  At one point of my life I would think, damn I wish I had done that or damn I would have been great at that or maybe I should do that.  Maybe it is age but my comfort level of doing what I do is getting better every day because I keep busy and I am doing interesting things on my terms.

When people ask me what I do, I do still take pause.  Sometimes I answer, nothing that I get paid for.  But I came up with my favorite answer the other day when I had to fill out my job title/description for a political party that I had given to.  The Government finds it necessary to know what you do when you give money to a candidate.  I just wrote in Superhero.