do I not add any value to the conversation?

ImagesI was talking with my friend the other day about something that had happened to me recently in regards to a development person.  Development is the department that raises money for institutions. 

I was standing with Fred and the development person was gushing over him.  How he was so incredible and how they were so lucky to have him part of the institution, etc.  I just stood there.  When we left the event, Fred turned to me and said that conversation was really bad.  I hope that doesn't happen with other donors.  When I told this story to my friend she said that happens to her all the time and it is unbelievably annoying.  Do I not add any value to the conversation? 

What is interesting is she remarked that she thought that women are the worst culprits.  In the year 2011, you would believe that if you are talking to development officer that they would at least be politically correct.  Just because a woman might have got off the gravy train for a period of time to raise the kids doesn't mean that she isn't as accomplished as her husband.  After all, is there a particular rating curve that defines success?  More than likely that woman had raised the kids, filled the refrigerator, prepared dinner every night, kept their schedules (kids and husband), kept the whole family company going, volunteered some of her time, paid the bills…need I go on?  More than likely that woman is one of the reasons that her husband/partner is where he/she is. 

I have no interest in being gushed at but I do expect that when people speak to both Fred and I, that they speak to us at as a unit.  We are and have been for over 30 years and Fred is as much as the reason for many of my personal successes as much as I am the reason for many of his.  There is a reason for the 50/50 rule.  There isn't a rating system for each individuals financial success because in the eye of the legal system, after so many years everything is split 50/50 because it takes two. 

 

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