Growing up, my father espoused that Mother’s and Father’s Day were ridiculous holidays. I happen to disagree. It is really nice to celebrate the day with your kids and get some acknowledgement – not that I don’t get it the other 364 days of the year. I got a great gift. I did not cook or clean. I went to my son’s baseball game after a leisurely breakfast and of course, after opening my present. Then we went down to Chinatown for dim sum and wandered through Little Italy for gelatto and into Soho. I took my daughter’s shopping (time is limited and they needed some stuff) and my husband and son went home and made us dinner. Not bad.
So while I was reading through the entire New York Times today, which I admit I do daily, I read a great editorial on Mother’s Day. I really enjoyed the editorial because I completely agree with her parenting. As we all know, everyone has their own parenting. Sometimes you are so dismayed by your friend’s parenting that it makes you think “how can I be friends with these people”?
If you get a chance read the Week in Review from Sunday before it goes into the recycle bin. The editorial was written by Muffy Mead-Ferrro. She is the anti-mother of today. I probably am too. I have pushed our kids to be completely independent, think on their own 2 feet, challenge authority and question what they don’t understand, be opinionated in a conversation with adults about something you feel strongly about, dress themselves, shower by themselves, make their own breakfast, walk the dog, be responsible for their own homework, get good grades, reach for the stars, be yourself, embrace your assets, pick up your own crap off the floor, be organized, figure out who you want to play with, entertain yourself, dress yourself, set new trends don’t follow others, embrace your own life.
People today seem to be so focused on their children that their children can’t focus on being themselves. The greatest asset you can give your child is to make them depend on themselves. Otherwise, how can they be healthy, thought provoking, intelligent, decision-making adults? I pride myself on our kids being able to work a crowd and at the same time have a conversation about politics. Why? Because we have always treated them with absolute respect for who they are instead of making sure that everything they do was “ok” and protected. Listen, if they fall down the stairs backwards when they are learning to navigate them, they won’t do it again. You learn from mistakes.
I will say that my husband made an awesome poached egg this morning. I’ll take that once a year. But, the other 364 days a year, I am spending time teaching and nurting our kids to be their own person. Nothing else could be a better asset for the future.