23 years and counting
Tomorrow is Fred and my 23rd wedding anniversary. We have known each other for almost 30 years. Pretty impressive.
Marriages don't always work, as we all know. There are a variety of reasons why they work and why they don't work. Commitment to making it work is probably the most important factor. Also, like minded interests. Common sense will tell you that someone who is a total foodie shouldn't be married to a vegan or someone who loves the outdoors shouldn't be married to someone who only likes staying in plush hotels in urban areas. In the long run, it will cause problems. Our interests have always aligned on basically every level and that creates a pretty solid foundation.
We were at a party a few weeks ago and we met a couple who have been married for many years and the husband told me a hilarious story. Years ago, Hume Croyn and Jessica Tandy were interviewed for an article. The journalist asked if after all these years they had ever considered divorce. Croyn said, divorce never, murder often. Made me laugh out loud.
Then he told me another story. Years ago he had written a list of about 10 things that him and his wife constantly fought about. No surprises that the fights over the years remain the same. You work at the issues but they always creep back up. It is inevitable. That is the part of marriage that you have to work at. He posted the list on the refrigerator and whenever one of those issues started to become an argument, one of them would go back to the list and note the number they were fighting about and they'd laugh.
Years went by and the list finally came down. But, to this day, whenever they begin to argue about something that is most always on the list, they just look at each other and call out the number.
Fred and I have really do have a great marriage, it has been 30 years although married for 23 and our list is quite short and the same shit always crops up. That is okay, I still love and adore him and that is what makes it all work.