relaxing for just a little bit more

I really wanted to go to the beach and relax at the end of the summer.  As Josh told me today on the phone, you are such a doer and now you are in such a total chill mode that it seems frustrating for you when we come out there with so many friends.  Interesting observation.  He could be right. 

There is no doubt I am in chill mode.  Reading books, exercising because I need to ( as in I'd rather be a lump) , thinking of projects on the horizon, etc..  Regardless of how much I unplug and recharge, at my age or where I am in my life, you can never fully unplug. 

I just finished reading the book, The Slap.  An interesting multi-cultural slice of Australian life.  Although the story centers around a young child who is slapped by an adult at a party, there is much more to the book than what appears on the surface.  It is about choices.  The reader glimpses into each character and how they feel about where they are in their lives.  There is one couple with two children who might be unsure of many things in their relationship but at the end of the day it still comes back to being responsible for the choices that they have made and their connection to each other.

Maybe because I am, gasp, middle-aged but I see many of my peers taking pause of where they are in their life.  Sure, you can check out of life for a week or so but you still have a mortgage to pay, children that you are responsible for, relationships that you have built over the years and perhaps businesses or a job that relies of you.  And then there is always the kids…and family. 

Many of the characters in the book wanted sides to be drawn in the sand.  When it came down to it each character had to make their own choice based on decisions that had been made a long time ago or the course their lives took.  As people I know that have made decisions to get divorced or forge down a different path, one forgets that you are still connected to your children and the decisions made from the life you had before.  Those responsibilities don't just evaporate because you want them to.  Obviously they could but that would leave serious destruction in your wake. 

So as I sit here in my big orange chair reading my book and contemplating whether to make blueberry jam or not, this time is short-lived.  I still run errands, I still have lots of kids coming and going, I still have responsibilities from businesses to finances, I still am in my life.  Certainly nice to sleep countless hours and contemplate new horizons but the reality is that those new horizons will always have old horizons embedded in the plans.