birthdays, life and reflection

Images Yesterday was my friends birthday.  We always spend the day together doing something.  Every year each of us make the attempt to come up with something new and different but it is really more about spending the day together.  We had breakfast, massages, facials, coffee, a little jewelry shopping and then dinner with more people that evening.  A really nice day.

As we get older, I can't help but reflect.  Perhaps reflect is the wrong word.  I am looking at where I am in my life as well as people in my generation and where they are at.  You can't help but wonder what do I want the next 10 years to look like.  From my birds eye view, I see men and women looking at where they are in their lives very differently.  So many men I know are working on getting in really good shape.  Kind of funny.  Maybe they are wondering where that six-pack they had in High School went. 

Years ago I took a look at my daily schedule and realized how much time was devoted to my kids and family life.  Thinking about the future I saw that amount of time getting smaller as the years passed.  Having 3 kids under your roof vs none.  For me, it is a slow peel out as the kids exit.  I began to plan where I wanted to be once I had an empty nest. 

At the end of the day, it is all about identity.  If someone had told me 30 years ago that I would be doing what I am doing or just giving me a heads up on my daily life, I would have laughed.  You just never know where life takes you or how the decisions you make affect your life. 

This year, perhaps because I see my life changing as my kids get older and they are so independent, will be one where lots of thought over the foundation and seeds I am planting for the next ten years will take place.  Maybe because my Mom died so recently it has forced me to want to embrace each moment as well as make sure that I do feel positive about my identity.  Who knows but I do know that these days I am spending lots of time in my head thinking about where, what, why and what's next. 

Comments (Archived):

  1. Yule Heibel

    “At the end of the day, it is all about identity.” YES.When I left academia, I felt like I had erased myself because, after spending all that time and effort on getting my degree and working as a prof, that’s all I was – an academic. So, once I stopped working as one, it was like *I* ceased to exist….Furthermore …I think my planning skills must be the shits or something. When you write, “I began to plan where I wanted to be once I had an empty nest,” I think, “omg, what was I thinking (or rather: NOT thinking) that I didn’t think of that?” I haven’t been nearly aggressive enough about figuring out what I want and where I want to be post-mothering, and, yep, the clock keeps ticking, mercilessly. Not getting any younger, so I guess it’s time to get smarter.Your post is like a nice kick in the derriere, so thanks for that. For 2011, I’m going to up my game – or at least get back into it.

    1. Gotham Gal

      excellent. go yule!

  2. rebeccastees

    What is your advice to your future self?”If you could have a candid conversation with someone 10 years older than you, what would you like to know?”…

    1. Gotham Gal

      great question. my advice to my future self would be to embrace the day.really spend the next ten years doing something that makes me feel happy,challenged, excited and thrilled about everyday. make sure there isbalance. work hard and play hard and try to go to sleep every night with afeeling of accomplishment and more importantly feeling content.

  3. Sunchowder

    Beautiful post. I didn’t realize you recently lost your Mom, my heart goes out to you. It is such a time for reflection and re-balance. I love your writing and your attitude, this really made me think, and I thank you for it.

    1. Gotham Gal

      as always, thanks wendy.

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