Chubby, Skinny and Accepting
I am a huge fan of Modern Love in the New York Times on Sunday mornings. I think it is the first thing that my friend reads every Sunday morning. It is just a great slice of life around different love stories. Some are happy, some are sad and some are hilarious.
Today the article, Chubby, Skinny and Accepting, was by Cole Kazdin who is a writer, producer and television producer in Los Angeles. Not only did I laugh out loud at certain points, I could relate to it on a few different levels. Cole grew up with a fat personality. That means you see yourself as an overweight person. My memory recalls me being a fatty growing up particularly in teenage years but funny enough when I look at old pictures I am not as heavy looking as I thought I was. Needless to say those thoughts have come part of my psyche. Today I still see a heavy person in the mirror who needs to lose 10 lbs at least. There have been many moments in my life when I got thin. Being thin meant basically starving because that is how I was able to stay at my "desired" weight.
I have certainly grown up and become less conscious of the scale. I rarely get on it. I do pay attention to what goes in my mouth. I don't eat a lot of carbs and sometimes a few bites is all I need. I also think that I get full quicker unless of course I have consumed huge quantities of alcohol. I actually think the weight thing is a blessing and a curse for many reasons.
I guess the bottom line is that over the years I have become more chubby ( in my head ) and accepting.
.It is all misguided self perception. We have a silly notion of what is “right” and “attractive”. The world is simply wrong.I love that schone soffliche Adele. I love those curves and almost Reubenesque contours. [Please do not tell anyone.]We all become addicted to our own misguided self image. When you dream at night, who are you? That is the real you.Me — I’m still stuck at 27 when I thought myself to be a hard case..
no doubt misguided self perception. not sure what age i am hanging at. have to think about that one.
I was one of those girls that didn’t grow out of my “baby fat” until I was in my 20’s. My weight didn’t really change much it just sort of reproportioned itself. That said, I was not considered pretty/beautiful (whatever) until after the reproportioning. In high school I asked seven different guys to the prom who all said no, so that gives you a bit of an indication of what people thought about me as far as looks were concerned. Personally, I am glad for that experience because I concentrated a lot on developing my intellect and creativity as a teenager since those were the things that I was most successful at evolving. And, really, those are the things that matter most in life anyhow. It’s good to learn it when you’re young.
it is all about the intellect.
I just wondered, reading that, if she was ever “fat.” She seemed to think being 120 and 5’3″ was really living on the edge. I found the article kind of alarming, but I felt better that she did realize she had a problem.
it is all in the head.
I think it boils down to how secure you are with yourself. And that maturity comes with a bit of aging and wisdom thrown in together.A recent study that was publicized a few days ago claims that being a bit overweight is healthy:http://www.cbsnews.com/8301…
i saw the study. kind of not surprising
Interesting article and follow up post. Even more interesting is that of the handful of times we have gotten together, I would describe you as a confident, independent and beautiful woman who is full of energy and a love of life. “Chubby” would not make my description. Just sayin.
its all in my head
Thanks for posting! An article I would have otherwise missed but very much relate to. Interested in what you mean when you say that in many ways you find the weight thing a blessing. I can’t help but think how much easier life is for those who don’t have to watch their weight . And I know quite a few.
I know a lot of people who never had to watch their weight in high school and even in college. then when they hit their 30’s they had no idea how to eat and ended up gaining a lot of weight. then weight became a problem. having known how to pull back when the scales tipped too high and how to keep pretty much the same for many many years is a skill that i have been learned had to live with my whole life.so..a curse but a blessing.
I’m that girl. And it is hard, and such a fight. It helps that when I was in middle school I was on a special diet which definitely trained me to like vegetables and fruit (a lot). (I had high cholesterol at that age.)It is a skill, the one thing that helps me is that tomorrow is another day with it. The other part is actually not trying to control yourself. Instead I work in reverse. I know I am going to eat, so I stock up with things I will eat that are healthy anyway. EG there is a bowl of fruit on the counter. If I want a snack, all I have to do is choose the top one and wash it. If I want a cookie I have to go out and get it from a bakery, and then I get one. It isn’t in a bag in my house where I will inhale the entire thing at once.
I’m blessed enough that, even into my 30s, I’ve maintained my high school metabolism, which is basically means my stomach is limitless. All I’ve noticed over the years (so far) is that now I can tell when I am full where before there was no end. I’m actually looking forward to the days that I stop being hungry so that I can save a few $$!
My first regular gig as a columnist for a newspaper was writing about the fat lady in the mirror. She didn’t show up for me until I was almost 30. She can do a major number on what we think others see, and it is quite liberating when we realize we have a lot more value in life than the size we wear. Not that health and diet and exercise aren’t important, but often who we see in the mirror has more to do with emotions than actions. Great post – thanks for sharing!
I love the visual…the fat lady in the mirror.
great article, thanks so much. a daily reminder i have on repeat.
To me personally, health and weight are connected.And with more knowledge about nutrition and exercise available, it becomes easier to manage both.Interestingly for most people is that health is the goal but they use weight as the metric. It’s not correct but I believe that it accomplishes the same goal if done with smarts.Nudge to add some green smoothies to your life. They sure worked for me.
I finally stopped gaining weight when I finally stopped trying to lose weight. A book called “Overcoming Overeating” really saved me (a huge part of which is about total self-acceptance at all times). I’ve recommended it to several people.No one would call me skinny, but I feel like I’ve stopped the slide toward obesity that, for a while, seemed like my destiny.When I finally started making activity (nothing intense, just walking) a daily event, I finally started to move towards the “normal” section of the doctor’s weight chart :)For me, it’s been about balance. All things in moderation, even exercise.Oh, and not thinking about my damned weight all the time has freed up brain space to do things that *truly* satisfy.