It’s a big day today

264_1008328852976_1680_nToday is a big day.  

Jessica moves into her own place in Brooklyn with some great friends.  One she has known since the fourth grade.  I am a huge fan of both of them.  

People ask the obvious, how do you feel about it?  Are you sad?  

There is no doubt that this is a big milestone for her and for us.  I am so happy for her.  She is moving into her own life as she should.  She will have her own place that represents her own sense of style, her own roof, her own stuff, her own everything.  After being in college for four years including many summers away to have to come back and live under our roof can't be fun.  Not that she doesn't come and go as she pleases.  Not that she is more than welcome to have dins with us whenever she wants with access to a full refrigerator ( well not always ).  Laundry gets done, room gets cleaned but so what.  

I never returned home after I left my sophomore year.  I came home freshman summer but that was it.  Maybe it was a different time but I also did not grow up in NYC.  I hda no interest returning to the DC area where my Mom lived.  

Fred and I moved in together our second semester of our senior year and never looked back.  We settled in NYC after traveling cross country the summer we graduated college.  We found an apartment and began our adult life.  

I can hardly wait to be invited to dinner at Jessica's new place.  I am helping with the move tomorrow.  I might get a little teary but honestly I could not be happier for her.  

Comments (Archived):

  1. Shripriya

    Visiting your parents’ house is a lot more fun when you have your own place. Good luck to Jessica!

  2. Ella Dyer

    Thanks for being a parent!

  3. SallyBroom

    Beautiful picture & blog. Clearly the start of a really exciting chapter all round

    1. Gotham Gal

      all around!

      1. SallyBroom

        Absolutely, seems 2014 is going to be a year to remember!

        1. Gotham Gal

          for you too!

  4. Lisa Abeyta

    The beauty about the lasts in our lives is that they are often on the heels of new firsts. You will love this new part of being a mother to an adult daughter; I know I have. I look forward to meeting her for coffee, going shopping, and the phone calls asking how to make a new dish she wants to try.

    1. Gotham Gal

      i love that. lasts in our lives is the heels of new firsts.

  5. Brandon Burns

    The last time I lived at home was the summer after my sophomore year of college. I hated it. I swore it would never happen again.When I was 24, I took a job in Toronto. My would be boss called to tell me the day before moving that there were visa problems and I had to wait. No where to go, I ended up back at home. My mother was thrilled. I went insane. Not wanting to stay in Chicago, I immediately booked a plane to NYC, and cold called ad agencies to tell them I’d be in town. I left NYC with 3 job offers and moved almost immediately. I would be a completely different person without that move and those first two years at NYC spent at R/GA. I went from writing TV commercials to designing for the web. Complete 180.The anxiety of living at home, and eventual leaving, I’m sure has generated many great stories of falling into something new.

  6. AG

    It’s the best of situations when you have your own place and also have your family’s home to look forward to visiting. I didn’t luck out much on the latter front, but it taught me about the home I wanted to creat for myself and the one I hope to create for my adult children one day. good luck with the move–it’s gotta be one of the worst activities! Was there any thought on a move back to the City vs BK?

  7. William Mougayar

    That’s great and the good thing is she’s still not too far from you.

    1. Gotham Gal


  8. Tracey Jackson

    It’s hard to see them go, but it’s the best thing for them. And I know you know that. It’s amazing how we were all out of the house. The day after high school I had my own place for-ever-more. But this gen comes home and often stays too long. Even with Tay in our bldg, it’s too close. She needs to be further away. They need to fly away in order to want to come back otherwise they feel trapped. Good luck with the move. And now you have more reasons to go to Brooklyn to find cool places to eat and shop!

  9. LE

    The first house I bought was essentially across and down the street from my parents (but in a different township). My parents used to complain (back then) that I didn’t do things that other kids did. People always love to cherry pick qualities and mash them all together – like being good with birthdays, mother’s day cards or calling them frequently enough.My answer was always something like “would you rather I lived in Colorado and called you all the time fakely “hey mom what’s up?”Aren’t you honored that I actually moved so close to you? I think you are doing ok by what I did in actions instead of words.Later when I got divorced my kids remained with my ex wife so they got to see them all the time (my ex wife would always tap my parents to help out). (She got the house in other words..)

  10. LE

    Fred and I moved in together our second semester of our senior year and never looked back.Probably about the only other person that I know that has an “OEM” relationship is the girl who cuts my hair (same person since 1983 I remember when her daughter was born and now she is 25..)Anyway she married her high school boyfriend. Afaik they are happy. I always say to her “you have no clue how lucky you are that you didn’t go through a divorce”.If you are ever in a “TMI” mood I would love to hear more about how your relationship happened (in terms of who pursued who and all the details). (I’m a big fan of the NYT engagement stories..)

    1. Cynthia Schames

      @domainregistry:disqus Not sure I would have pegged you for a romantic but I love it!

      1. Gotham Gal

        Lol. Only when it comes to the fam

        1. Cynthia Schames

          Haha, I get it!

  11. Jay Trien

    Our daughter lives 4 blocks away and we see her when she wants, but when she was sick it was great that we could be there for her.How’s Fred taking this life transition?

    1. Gotham Gal

      He is taking it well. Maybe a tad harder for him.

  12. Rohan

    She’ll soon have war stories to tell about living with roommates. 😉

  13. panterosa,

    I flew the coop at 15 and was only in transit at home a few times here and there. My parents didn’t want me to go away to school. My father died at 16. It was hard for my mother initially, but she is now decades later much more her own person living alone.My kid is 12. I hope for at least 3 more years of her at home!

    1. laurie kalmanson

      parallel storylines here.

  14. panterosa,

    Forgot to ask what you would miss most of her gone from home. That’s the list I’m thinking of so I can find other ways to do things that make up for it.

  15. JimHirshfield

    Lotsa nachas.

  16. JLM

    .GG, she moved to Brooklyn. Not Mongolia.My babies live in CLT and NYC and still they are right next door.You are very lucky.JLM.

    1. Gotham Gal

      I am thrilled she is in the area. If it was London it would be a drag but its her life and Im thrilled for her any path she chooses

      1. JLM

        .I don’t know why this random thought occurs to me but make damn sure she has a good security system including some external and internal cameras.Sorry.JLM.

        1. Gotham Gal

          Yes. Good security

  17. Erin Newkirk

    Hope it went well today! Big deal! xo

  18. laurie kalmanson

    congrats. mine is getting close to walking out the front door alone; i look back and it wasn’t that long ago when i left her at preschool for the first time. the breaks get bigger but the bonds get stronger.long ago, before i ever thought of being a parent, i was at a college sendoff party for the child of an editor; i understood that he was feeling large emotions, but i couldn’t know what they were. now, with every growing up milestone — how did she get that tall??? — the meaning of his words become more clear: we raise them to leave us, and we hope that we prepare them well.

  19. pointsnfigures

    congrats. It’s fun. Our oldest moved out on her own into a four story walk up about a mile away. she still comes over and hangs out-but it’s great for her to have responsibility and freedom. Like you and Fred, my wife and I met senior yr of college (83-84) and never really looked back. A long strange trip it has been.