imgresI could not let yesterday go unacknowledged.  It was a huge day for me.  I am trying to take it all in.  I knew the day would come.  It was in many ways a typical day yet all day long we both knew how the day would end.

The woman who has been an intricate part of my life, our family life, retired.  She had been with us over 15 years.  She has been one of my biggest cheerleaders.  She allowed me the ability to do so many things.  She came to us when Josh was 4 and I was moving into being an at-home Mom for awhile.  She watched me juggle being a Mom while figuring out how to return to work in my own terms.  She was my right hand person.  She kept us organized. She knew where every thing was.  She knew how to do everything from sewing to fixing jewelry.  She loved being with me in the kitchen baking, cooking, canning and tasting. She loved our dogs probably more than anything else.  She took serious pride in being our back bone and enjoyed every minute of it.  She was always there for us.  Everyone should be so lucky to have someone like her in their lives.

I am quite aware that not everyone has the means to have someone in their lives to keep their home life humming so we can focus on other parts of our lives.  It is a luxury.

As she said to me yesterday just as she did 15 years ago, it was never about the money.  I wanted to find a family that I could become part of and make their lives better.  She found that in ours yet it was truly a mutual love affair. Our entire family feels insanely lucky to not only have had her around but to have had a relationship with her.  She taught us all more than she realizes.

It was time for our next stage.  She helped raise our family and now they are all young adults.  She let me know that she is always there whenever I need her and I told her the same thing.  We both cried.

It was really a big day.

Comments (Archived):

  1. fredwilson

    Great post Jo. It’s the end of an era and the start of a new one. Writing this stuff down gives the feelings you expressed so well a permanence and that’s a great thing

    1. Gotham Gal

      I’m still weepy.

  2. drmarasmith

    The love and respect you have for her comes shining through in your words. You appreciated and valued her and Im sure you didn’t hesitate to tell her that – your family felt the love and care for 15 years and so did she 🙂

    1. Gotham Gal

      Absolutely a mutual respect and admiration for both our roles on each side.

  3. William Mougayar

    I know how you’re feeling. They are family. We had a live-in nanny growing-up, and when she left to retire I remember it was sad, and we missed her a lot. It was like a void. Our family became friends with her family, and we visited them once in a while to see her.

    1. Gotham Gal

      I am sure visits will be in our future.

  4. Erin

    Gulp. That’s a big loss. Sounds like there was something serendipitous that brought your lives together.

    1. Gotham Gal


  5. Sunchowder

    Sending you a big hug and sloppy kiss. Ah changes it is….XOXO

    1. Gotham Gal

      Thanks Wendy

  6. Mario Cantin

    I had teary eyes just reading this…

  7. CCjudy

    change is always challenging and this did end well

  8. meredithcollinzzz

    Wonderful love letter to a clearly special person…

  9. leeschneider

    A timely post for me! Today was the first day our new nanny came to start working with us and our kids. Rough start with our 3 year old not wanting us to leave – tears, crying, etc (mostly from him). It’s planned to be a 10 month position, but who knows, maybe 15 years from now I’ll be writing a similar post. We can only hope!

  10. Dan Conway

    “How lucky I am to have found someone and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.” – Jill Kinmont

    1. Gotham Gal

      nice quote!

  11. pointsnfigures

    Awesome. You made each other’s lives great and transcended the mutual beneficial business relationship. Reminds me in a way of Driving Miss Daisy.

  12. Sherry Abdou

    The love you have for her comes through clearly. May an equally blessed era show itself to you.

  13. Jess Bachman

    My step-grandmother recently passed away, she was 97. She is survived by her maid/servant/caretaker who was at her side for 53 years! I can’t even imagine the bond there.

    1. Gotham Gal


  14. awaldstein

    Rewatched Remains of the Day yesterday.That bond is where I draw my parallels from as in my world grandparents played this role in the immigrant home.

    1. Gotham Gal

      loved the book and the movie.

  15. kirklove

    How’s Ollie taking it!!!? :)Our nanny of only 3 years is like family. I can only imagine 15.

    1. Gotham Gal

      he is a bit depressed.

  16. Nancy King

    We were fortunate to have similar help when our kids were little. She was the third parent and as a family, we were better for it. I wouldn’t have the career I have now without that help early on. She now has three of her own. I wish all mothers and fathers could have that kind of extra support.

  17. TanyaMonteiro

    I had tears in my eyes, have experienced something similar myself. Special to read it here,