The Year My Mother Came Back
I am pretty sure that this book, The Year My Mother Came Back, showed up next to my bedside table because a publisher sent it to me to read. Whoever you are…thank you.
Every mother should read this. It is memoir that tells us stories about being a mother and all that goes through your head and at the same time as she is having a rekindled relationship with her mother who died 30 years ago.
My relationship with my Mom was complicated. She was amazing on many levels but as she got older and I got older our relationship changed dramatically. I know why but knowing why doesn’t make it easier. Pecking order, personalities, experiences and all the rest make everything unique in our relationships with our parents.
This book really gave me a lot to reflect on. I am pretty sure it will have a lasting effect….I might start to see my Mom more often in my dreams. Yep, I am pretty sure I will.
The title alone is inspiring and a message in itself.
Yeah I know, when I saw it in my e-mail, I was like, “What a juicy title! What happened with Joanne’s mom??” So Joanne, you know why the relationship got complicated but you didn’t tell us? TELL US!! Our mothers follow us into every last unconcious corner of our lives and haunt us in our speech patterns and relationship patterns and in what we do with partially-used kleenexes… even while they’re living two blocks away, too! One of the most important– and powerful– things women can do is to understand where their mother ends and they begin– and why. Examining your dreams is a wonderful place to start, and a Jungian therapist can help you piece everything together.
It’s never that simple.
Yes it is. You just need to find the right therapist- someone who knows the ancient archetypes that the great myths are weaved from, knows how to interpret dreams and how they fit into your personal astrological chart (and your mother’s if you can do that!), and knows the Enneagram, the personality typing system based on kabbala’s tree of life and those same ancient archetypes I mentioned– and Jung!!– and in about five years, after having developed a mindfulness practice of your own, you’ll have come to an understanding of her unconscious needs, your unconscious needs, how they played out between you, your dad, and your siblings, and your own personalized healing journey forward. (But of course it’s complicated too- don’t get me wrong, it’s just also very simple if you know where to look. Western culture has gotten so cut off from its roots- if we can relearn them, we might have a chance at living integrated lives within our hundred-year life span! And applying those healing remedies to the planet.) Erin Mulliganwww.rhodeandcompany.comRegina, SaskCANADA
Yes, I want to hear too!
Oh yeah, I have my own story as well. Though, my Mom and I already came full circle back to each other. But what a huge complicated circle that was.I am looking forward to reading this book!
Oh my. My relationship with my mother is definitely complicated. And it’s changed dramatically over the years.I look at my 6yo daughter now and ask myself how I can make sure our relationship isn’t “complicated.” I think I know in theory what I’m supposed to do to up our chances… but putting it into practice is so much harder than it seems like it will be.Happy Holidays to everyone!
relationship with parents is tremendously complicated…..tremendously…..It is totally interesting the relationships that mother’s have with daughters. We tend to write more about father’s and sons.
Just noted it for our book club “possible selection.” We just picked our next 20+ books which will last us 2 years. So it will be a while, but found your comments and the reviews worthy.
what are the books you picked?
Feel complimented that you asked. Here is our list — in order of “interest” — interest being defines by a low score based on a 1-3 rank. 1 being super interested and 3 being still interested but not as much. No rank is basically a veto. 11 books were cut. Final list:The Short and Tragic Life of Robert Peace. By Jeff Hobbs, Non-fiction, 416 pages.26. Sparta by Roxana Robinson, Novel, 400 pages.31. Gray is the Color of Hope by Irina Ratushinskaya, Memoir, 455 pages.32. Ghana Must Go by Taiye Selasi, fiction, 338 pages.14. Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth, and Faith in the New China by Evan Osnos, NON-fiction, 416 pages16. Invention of wings by Sue Monk Kidd, Fiction, 384 pages.9. Otto and Russell and James, Fiction, 320 pages7. On the Move by Oliver Sacks, Memoir, 416 pages27. Where’d You Go Bernadette? By Maria Semple; Novel, 352 pages20. Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan, Fiction, 520 pages.2. Enon by Paul Harding, Novel, 272 pages6. Like Normal People by Karen E Bender, 280 pages10. Marjorie Morningstar by Herman Wouk, Fiction 585 pages.13. A Mountain of Crumbs by Elena Gorokhova, 336 pages, memoir24. Five star billionaire by Tash Aw, Fiction, 416 pages3.The People of Forever Are Not Afraid, by Shani Boianjiu, Novel, 368 pages5. Submergence by JM Ledgard, Fiction 208 pages11. Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn. Fiction, 272 pages12. Under the Wide and Starry Sky by Nancy Horan, fiction, 496 pages.19. Soldier girls by Helen Thorpe. Nonfiction, 432 pages21. New Life. No Instructions: A Memoir. By Gail Caldwell. 175 pages
Thanks for the recommendation. A little afraid to read this book but may be a must.I always think I should earn the prize for complicated mother relationship only to possibly be topped by one of my sisters who live in closer proximity.What a wonder she is in so many ways. We seem so very different to the onlooker. I’ve made extremely different choices. But deep inside I am so aware that I am very much her daughter.
As my brother says… That person bore you.