#I Stand Up
The objectification of women in the media has been around forever. This generation, more than ever, has had enough. It is mentally and physically destructive. We should all be comfortable in ourselves. Much easier said than done. This spot is a powerful piece that perhaps the media should pay attention to.
Then on the other side we have the networks refusing to show this Lane Bryant ad on TV. The refusal of this beautiful ad confirms that we must all #1 Stand Up
Comments (Archived):
While I love the Lane Bryant ad, the company is purposefully — and very smartly — using it to stir up controversy and free media. Everyone that works in advertising knows that, for better or worse, putting breastfeeding on TV is explicitly against the rules. That’s what got this ad disqualified from the networks; they knew it would happen, and that they could spin the story in their favor.I won’t harp on the media for making Lane Bryant follow the rules, but I’ll still praise the ad and the effort and the smart manipulation of the press to get more value in free media than they would have gotten for their paid commercial slots. In a social media world, that’s what “smart advertising” has come to these days. The more you can get for free, the better.
no doubt they are doing a great job creating a lot of chatter
I would say that it makes the ad purposefully brilliant. And seriously successful.
As a woman, and mother of a teen daughter, I’m on board with any effort to promote body image as owned healthily by the woman herself, and her girlhood should support the development of a positive attitude of breadth of Beauty definition.Women themselves will need to fully embrace this as individuals and communities, not just men, as women traditionally have played their physical assets competitively against each other in pursuit of status and male attention. The dominos after that are women’s own sense of intellectual and emotional worth preceding their looks. When that is achieved, ie when a woman feels comfortable in her own skin intrinsically, not extrinsically, we will have won.Sadly anxiety and depression in children is tied to extrinsic valuation, which is on an exponential rise, and social media plays a huge role in this, besides parents own meddling and values trying to promote their kid’s “worth”.We’re back to know thyself as the most powerful asset behind love thyself and love thy neighbor.
Amen. There is a real culture of perfection right now, that imperfect people need to be “fixed.” Yet, inspiringly, the backlash against it is also growing.I think that we, as women, need to actively stand up for each other whereever and whenever possible. It would be so easy to blame the Kardashians, for example. When I think it would be much more healing for everyone to talk about why even a Kardashian could be made to feel she isn’t enough just as she is.
Perfect is often the enemy of smart.A wise woman knows her intrinsic worth, as her growing into her own self and dreams, as a daily dynamic exercise in living.I can’t even recognize any Kardashians, having not followed them ever. But their influence is tied to a quote I heard from a Texan ballerina, whose name I don’t know and wish I did – “If you’re nobody, in order to be somebody, you have to be somebody else.” That seems to be today’s disorder, only a disorder in as much as their aren’t enough role models, especially role models of people being themselves.”Be yourself” is as hard, or as easy, as you make it.
Perfect is often the enemy of smartI like that.
Me too!
That quote is amazing. Will have to find it.
Wow, seeing those two videos together are really powerful. Thanks for that!We need to:– Stop seeing any groups of people as “lesser than”.– Stop viewing women’s bodies as things that “look good” and start seeing them as things that “do great things”.– Keep calling attention to harmful stereotypes that cause people to act in certain ways unconsciously and be lulled into complacency about how “that’s just the way things are.”I have always thought that traditional women’s beauty was architected so that women would not “do” things (at least, things that are not sexual). For example—if you are wearing high heels, a tight mini skirt, have long polished fingernails, perfectly coiffed hair—think of all the things that prevents you from doing—running across a field in the rain, taking a stand at a political rally and being held seriously, running up the stairs, biking to work, playing a spontaneous game of touch football, helping a lost dog find its owner. From a very early age girls are dressed up in frilly dresses and told “don’t get dirty” while boys are told “go out and play and burn off some of that energy.” Well, guess what, girls and women have energy too. “Keeping women in their place” starts with this idea of them being so beautiful and idealized that they don’t DO much of anything. It’s seriously harmful.
— Stop viewing women’s bodies as things that “look good” and start seeing them as things that “do great things”.Men are apparently more visually stimulated than women are. I was initially attracted to my wife both by the way she looked [1] and also her career. If she wasn’t attractive and/or didn’t have a good career (where the career in my mind made her smart) it would have been a non-starter for me. (Lot’s of other stuff of course as to why we are married but those two things are what formed the initial attraction..)[1] She is a bit heavy by the way. That was actually a positive for me not a negative.
Great great post, putting those two videos in context with each other.The hardest thing I do as a mother of a 6 yo girl is battle back against the messages to her that she must be perfect and a sex object. I feel like I’m in a battle with the corporations for my daughter’s soul.On a positive note, it’s also the inspiration for an all-ages, female, comicbook superhero I am slowly (in my so-called “spare time”) working to bring to life. The theme is fighting against the forces who work to make us hate ourselves (and each other) in order to sell us products (taken to comicbook levels, of course). My daughter actually helps me work on it. She has great ideas! Working on this with me has had a wonderful, empowering effect on her. So no matter what, it’s been an important project.I’m so glad my daughter is growing up now, and not when I did. Things are going to be so much better in this regard for her.
things will be so much better for her generation. although each generation has its own set of issues…
Oh, WOW! That is so cool.
Thanks! It literally transformed the way she plays. A little girl puts on a princess costume and then… does nothing! Wafting around is about all you can do as a princess (or perhaps *sleep*, god help us!).But once she had her own superhero, all her play became dynamic, purposeful. She is saving the world, stopping villains. It’s been amazing to watch her.
The hardest thing I do as a mother of a 6 yo girl is battle back against the messages to her that she must be perfect and a sex object.Kirsten, doesn’t this also come from friends that a girl associates with rather than the media? My stepdaughter (as only one example) doesn’t play that game at all and in fact has primarily male friends (she is 11 now but it’s always been that way). I have never seen a doll in her room. She gets excited by things that boys normally like at that age. I am wondering how much of this is media imprinting vs. just the way girls interact with each other and what they value and just who they are vs. boys from birth. She cares nothing about clothing. I’ve offered to take her to the mall and pick and buy nice clothes for her (I am good at that) and she has never taken me up on it. If I said “Apple Store” she’d drop whatever she was doing and get into the car. [1]I mean girls will typically comment on each other’s dress from my observation, but guys almost never do that (at least straight ones..).Your thoughts?[1] Otoh I ran into her cousins last year at the mall and gave them both $20 each and they quickly thanked me and ran to the Ulta store to buy makeup. They are more “girly girls”.
I’m not in a position to analyze your stepdaughter, respectfully. Personal gender identity is a spectrum not a binary and is quite complicated. If the male gaze holds no value for your daughter (for whatever reason), she may be less receptive to media that tries to sell her on how she can be more successful in it.But I’m having trouble putting together what you see as feminine pursuits and objectification. The traits you are born with have zero to do with being objectified. Are you suggesting that if we didn’t objectify women in our culture that girls would no longer like to shop? What about boys who like to shop?Your stepdaughter still has to live in the world that is saturated with messages that women are objects, no matter how successfully she has avoided objectifying herself.