Planning ahead

images-3Nobody would ever accuse me of not planning ahead.   It has been a theme of my life.  The good news is that Fred is on board with that way of thinking too.  The rewards of thinking ahead has played out in many aspects of our lives.

I had drinks with a friend the other night who was in from out of town. She is a few years behind us in regards to being an empty nester.  It was truly a treat to hear from her that she has been reading my blog for a long time and she followed what worked for me.  She saw the writing on the wall as her kids got into high school and started down a path of going back to work full time.  I did the same thing.  I started to see less hours in the day to day lives of my kids starting to dwindle and knew it was time to figure out my next career.  Her oldest will go to college next year, one is still at home and she is back working full time (on her own terms) and it is obvious from the look on her face how happy she is.  I love it.

We only have one left in college but I can see how many of the things we put in place when the kids are young are paying off in spades.  We had dinner at home 5 times a week when the kids were young.  It waned as the kids got older but it was at least 3 times if not 4 times a week in those years.  Those dinners are now precious and we all get together on Sunday nights because it is what we do.  It is a way to catch up and everyone loves it.

Our summers and winters have always been spent at the beach and skiing.  Those rituals (except for the long extended vacations) have remained.  It is just like sitting down for Passover, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Thanksgiving.  They become rituals that are part of our family.  I am honored that the kids like them as much as I do.

I am still in planning ahead mode.  Thinking about where I want to be in the next 5 years, where our kids will be in the next 5 years and remembering when I was starting out in my adult life with Fred.  We were the same age as our kids.  I don’t want to say how did that happen so fast because there are a lot of years there but it is a strange thing to be at this age.  It is just weird.


Comments (Archived):

  1. Brandon Burns

    Sometimes I get so caught up in the planning that I don’t make it to the “doing” part. Lol.

  2. Jenna Abdou

    I love this story!

  3. kirklove

    Family dinners are the best!My family did it (7 days a week, no questions). We are doing it now, too. We also do breakfast, because we’ll I love breakfast and I cook a mean pancake from scratch. Plus, I’m banking mega points with my crew 😉

    1. Gotham Gal

      We did breakfast too. I had breakfast with the kids every morning until they went to college. Always

  4. Lisa Abeyta

    Love this. If we don’t plan at all, we are relegated to reacting without any preparation and rarely with the best options available. If we believe the plan is a contract with the future, we fail to enjoy life in the moment – because life never goes as planned.

    1. Gotham Gal

      Life never goes as planned

  5. AMT Editorial Staff

    The family dinner is irreplaceable. We do “show & tell” and often “bedtime math.” — Kids ages 5 & 9. Manners seem to always be an issue though…We also take on “issues” at family dinner too. The relaxed vibe encourage all to be productive in finding a solution. We are planners.

  6. LE

    Thinking about where I want to be in the next 5 years, where our kids will be in the next 5 yearsWith three kids, there is a good probability that you will be grandparents in the next 5 years.

    1. Gotham Gal

      Perhaps. Perhaps not

      1. LE

        My sister in law is in her mid 40’s.She has a son in college (freshman, 19).He is an Eagle Scout and pre-med.Out of the blue less than a year ago he comes home and tellshis parents that his girlfriend is pregnant (they were not married) andclaimed that they literally found out that day that she was 6 or 7 monthspregnant (really that’s what they said). She has the baby pre-matureand my sister in law is now a grandmother and my mother in law isa great grandmother. (My mother in law is 65 btw…).Repeat, Eagle Scout, good kid, pre-med. But not smart enough apparentlyto even know (he claims) that his girlfriend was pregnant. And the gf claimsshe didn’t know she was pregnant.I can’t decide if it’s worse that they didn’t know of the pregnancy or that they thinkthat others are stupid enough to believe them.Anyway we tried to convince them to give up the baby for adoptionso it wouldn’t mess up his college/medical school. And they haveno way to pay for a kid now with him in school.Last point. They are not getting married. You know why? Because if theyget married they won’t get free healthcare for the baby. That’s rightby staying single the government pays for all of the medical bills. Great, right?

  7. Ellen Lindzon

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and plans with us. I have learned a ton through the years about how to plan my future by reading your blog.

    1. Gotham Gal