The Dads
Remember Ozzie and Harriet? Ozzie would come home from work in his suit and say “honey I’m home” and Harriet, who looked picture perfect with a clean house and something cooking in the oven would obediently lean over for a kiss. Don’t forget she had her kitchen apron on. Thank god those days are over.
Now we know, because Dad’s have gotten involved, how damn hard it is. I saw a great photo of a young father with his baby strapped to his back vacuuming the house as part of his duties. We should not be applauding this but rather be saying “it is about time”.
We have many friends with young children. Everyone plays a role in raising the family. Sometimes both parents work, other times one ends up staying home but the roles are not like Ozzie and Harriet. They have become blended. Trust me we still have a way to go but movement is happening.
A recent study came out on the positive impact of equal paternity leave in Scandinavia. The country offers up to 480 days of paid leave after having a child for both parents. Currently the law in the states is that you can supposedly take 12 weeks off of unpaid leave. Our childcare system is far from supportive of families we could actually say there is zero support.
Here is the most powerful stat out of Scandinavia. 88% of the work force is women between 25-54 with children. After 480 days, women actually return to work. Also, masculinity changes because now men can be caregivers, that they can be dipping into a bag of treats, diapers and napkins at the playground, they can be more vulnerable. Family is first. Men have a better connection with their kids. It is a win.
It is really hard for a start-up to do this but it is not that hard for a large company. It appears from this study that the long tail of paternity leave is that it is great for business.
Comments (Archived):
Wow. The dudes who read this blog never shut up about things in these comments. Until you start blogging about being a non piece of shit fatherdude! And now listen to the symphony of crickets!I, for one, think our country’s pre-K situation is an utter scandal. I have met many people who quit their jobs because the cost of daycare is essentially equivalent to the salary of a middle class job. But of course you can only give up a middle class salary if there is other cash coming in to pay the bills. I never thought about this until I began living though it. Which, on one hand, is shitty to only care about an issue when it hits you, but on the other hand, is how most of us learn about things.This is a thing that the federal government will eventually address. It will take longer than it should, but eventually it will happen because the current system is insane.Back to your inane chatter, blogger boys.
The system is absolutely insane!
It is really hard for a start-up to do this but it is not that hard for a large company. It appears from this study that the long tail of paternity leave is that it is great for business.If it’s hard for ‘startups’ it’s near impossible for traditional small business. Traditional small business would be a company that is started by someone without using any external funding not even family money. One that can not sustain losses either. Why is it impossible? Well you simply don’t have the resources to be able to cover a missing person. Have you ever done this? I have. That was my first business. (That was also my fathers business which he started with his brother in the 60’s). My business at times varied between 12 and 20 employees. And each person had a function that was super important to do. Essential. Some more than others. Some less replaceable than others. Real business with all the downside placed on the shoulders of the person who started it (me). These companies now are even more vulnerable than when I did this. They are competing with startups with way more resources (and way nicer places to operate from and yes that is a big deal to employees they don’t want to work in your small dusty place). They have online competition. Your customers do not want to hear that something won’t happen because an employee is on maternity leave paternity leave or sick. They will just ‘find another vendor’. Sure if they are loyal they cut you some slack. But not much. I know a guy who ran a business and did great work. He had a fire. Took him time to rebuild. Many of his ‘loyal’ customers had to find a new vendor. They never came back. (This is common enough that some insurance covers this type of situation in a small business).But there is one last important point. Even if this is a benefit that only larger companies have to do it still disadvantages smaller companies by making them less attractive places to work. Large companies (and funded startups) already have a host of advantages and benefits as a result of the resources and money that they have. Now there is one more advantage to attract employees.Note also that if a company (large that would have to comply) has to offer this benefit then it’s also possible they will favor people in hiring that won’t take advantage of the benefit..
.Ozzie and Harriet — who were an actual family and who were actually married to each other — began in 1952 and ended in 1966. It is still the sitcom with the most episodes. Ever.I point this out because it is unlikely that anybody reading this blog ever saw it in its native state.I don’t think that anybody thinks that Ozzie and Harriet was ever the view of a modern family relevant to today. It is an absurd analogy. It is more than a half century removed from modern times.I never saw much television in those days, but I can vouch for the notion that life was simpler, sweeter, and more orderly in the fifties and sixties.Not an iota of what you describe is unique to these times or novel. The same issues were present and resolved in similar manners back in the day.I often chide people that “your generation didn’t invent sex or business” and that admonition serves this subject well.Everybody adapts to the situation they are in when they have kids.JLMwww.themusingsofthebigredca…
There has been some discussion about these issues in the Australian media this week, prompted by an essay by Annabel Crabb (a politics commentator for the national broadcaster) https://www.abc.net.au/news…
really good piece. “it’s in their heads”