Trauma Is Not One Size Fits All
The narrative that we must now discuss our feelings and be understanding of each other’s trauma is appearing on TV, in books, and the workplace. It is a new world, one of the many post-COVID changes.
The thing about trauma is everyone has different reactions to the same situation based on who they are at their core and the baggage they have been carrying to this point.
Society “woke” up in the past few years, and much of it has been a positive step in the right direction, particularly “me too,” which was a watershed moment for women.
This past week was an article in the New Yorker about a woman, when growing up, her father’s best friend was kidnapped. She never understood how he was able to return to life as usual after this traumatic event, as she had a traumatic event that hung around her neck.
What piqued my interest was that her traumatic event happened to me, too. I was pregnant with our oldest daughter, and she had no interest in coming out. I made an appointment to be induced, and after the first day in the hospital, nothing was moving forward. I slept in the maternity ward while pregnant.
The next day, the doctor came in and examined me. I remember it being uncomfortable, and the next thing that happened was that my water came gushing out. Afterward, he told me he had broken my water in the hopes that I would begin dilating. I remember thinking tonight that I would go to sleep with a child. In today’s world the doctor would have explained everything to you before doing anything. Small changes but big changes.
The author had the same experience, and of course, I have no idea if it was as invasive or more invasive than mine, but I never considered it invasive. It had to be done, and I trusted the doctor to do the right thing.
The author sought out the father’s best friend to understand how he could move on with his life, and it appeared without a glitch. The reality is he had trauma from his experience, and he made shifts in his life that allowed him to operate at a high level in the world. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
It’s a worthy read. Every person processes their baggage differently. As society has finally embraced personal therapy to understand oneself better is a gift. Reading how these two people dealt with their trauma is, if anything, eye-opening.