Why?

There is a scene in Dying for Sex (based on a true story which I highly recommend) where Molly, played by Michelle Williams, the main character, is having a back and forth with her Mom, Sissy Spacek where Molly says to her Mom, “I’m just trying to find myself.” It hit me.

My niece, curious, intelligent, and morally just, loves to dig deep into why we behave the way we do. I happened to see her after I wrapped up Dying for Sex. We always discuss family history and how that has impacted who we are.

As most of my friends are dialing it down, I am dialing it up. Over the years, I have had countless ideas but chose not to execute them because I was busy doing other things. My priority, and it still is today, is our family. Even though our kids are now adults, and everyone is highly independent, they are always at the top of our minds.

Instead of growing my own business, I helped others do it. Leadership is hugely different, and so is the responsibility. I could engage in many companies, meet many people, make an impact, and still be home in the mornings and afternoons, getting ready for dinner. Perfect for me.

As the kids started to leave the house, my perspective on my time changed. I was ready for something else; as Fred says, “I have one more in me.” I now have the time to focus on what I want to build and do. I would do it the same way again.

Though this time, I have come to know myself better, and not being that self-reflective when I was younger worked really well for me. Perhaps that is what keeps me building. There are countless reasons that I love Gotham, and why I am passionate about the Public Housing Community Fund, and why I am about to shoot a short for a docuseries I have wanted to do for years. I am exhausted, but I am exhilarated every single day.

I love building things, but I am putting together the why.