A Pet Peeve

Maybe I am not formal enough.  Maybe I like to buck the system.  One of my big pet peeves is how I am addressed.  What I mean by being addressed is when you go to an event where there is a name card or if you get something in the mail that goes to you and your husband how it is addressed or if you go on vacation what name is everything filed under.

I was thinking about this when we went to an event last night.  We walked up to the table to the area designated for us to check in and get a bidding number.  The woman asked me, "Fred Wilson"?  The card was addressed Mr and Mrs. Fred Wilson.  Meanwhile, I sent in the money and filled out all the information.  Where was my name?  Why doesn’t is say Joanne and Fred Wilson?

When we go on vacation, inevitably I have booked everything, and when we check in they still ask, "Fred Wilson"? 

Even formal invites in the mail always says, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wilson. 

When we send out invites, snail mail, to a family, we always put "The Wilson Family" not Mr. and Mrs. Fred Wilson and family.  When we send out invites to an event for adults only, I always put Joanne and Fred Wilson which means I am inviting both of the adults, each individuals, to the event.  Obviously using my name here just to make the point.

Hmm.  Call me crazy but the world we live in today where lots of times both people work and bring in a dual salary I feel they should get equal billing.  There are plenty of women, and men by the way, who have chosen to stay home and raise the children that might have had careers or perhaps never did.  Their career now is raising a family.  That should get equal billing too.  I am thrilled to be Mrs. Fred Wilson or even Jessica, Emily and Josh’s Mom but I can’t understand in an age like today why we still use such formal and antiquated "addressing" etiquette.

Comments (Archived):

  1. Ken Berger

    Seems it all starts when they say “I now pronounce you Man and wife”.

    Luckily, that’s slowly changing too. I’ve been to a few weddings where they now say “partners for life”.

  2. ann

    I work with a female surgeon, and she often gets invitations addressed to Dr. Wallace and wife…!

  3. Scott

    I agree with this totally! I first noticed that this is the way “things are” when I was doing my high school graduation announcements. My mother told me the proper form of address (and the one taught by my school), but I just couldn’t do it. I said “I’m not leaving the woman out of it” and addressed them as you suggested: Joanne and Fred Wilson. I’ve done so ever since.

    But what is totally amazing is the fact that yesterday, I went online to set up my wife’s Austrian Airlines mileage account, and when I went to fill out the form, the salutation field contained only “Mister, Doctor, Professor or Mrs” — no Ms, and certainly no Miss.

    Now, staying on a related topic, my wife and I have different last names. This can be a real hassle, but it has its positive side, too. For example, when a telemarketer calls and asks for “Mrs. Partee”, I can honestly say “nobody here by that name…”

  4. Charlie

    I dunno… I always refer to Fred as Mr. Joanne Wilson… I guess it hasn’t caught on yet. 🙂