A life of dieting

6a00d8345200d669e20120a55bf4c2970b-320wi Dieting has truly been the bane of my existence for my
entire life.  I think about it when
I wake up and when I go to sleep. 
Doesn’t mean I stick to the rules that I have set that particular day,
it just means I think about it.  So
reading Born Round, The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater by Frank Bruni not
only hit home there were times where I laughed out loud.  A wonderful read about his life, his
family and his journey through ups and downs of weight loss. 

Bruni, although he has gone through his ups and downs of weight
loss, there was only one time when he truly got heavy.  Always having that extra 10 pounds on
your frame sometimes 15 sometimes 20 or sometimes just 5 sits in your head,
always.  I know.  No matter how thin you get, or what
kind of shape you get yourself into, you will always have a fat
personality.  At least that’s what
I call it.

 My first recollection of dieting was when I was about 8
years old.  I remember sitting
around the kitchen table, we went home for lunch at school, and I believe my 2
siblings had friends over too, I am the oldest, so maybe that didn’t
happen.  Regardless, everyone was
served a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch except me.  I was given a turkey cheese roll with a
toothpick through it.  Even then my
Mom knew that bread was bad.  I
burst into tears.  My Mom said
she’d give me a pb and j sandwich too but I protested because “I am fat”. 

 I was always just a little plump, hey, I like food.  I clearly remember those four awful
words, you don’t need that.  I have
tried so hard not to say those words to my kids about their eating habits but
it is hard.  Not easy with the fat
head baggage I carry around. 
Problem with the fat head is when you do get down to your weight, you
feel so good that you treat yourself by eating.  Crazy, right?

In my early teens, I’d cry in the dressing room getting new clothes for
school.  What I wanted to wear
looked awful on me.  I wanted to be
tall and thin but alas, I was short and stocky with a little belly.  I tried all the diets too.  Went to Weight Watchers with my Dad, once
bought the powder diet which made me gag, fasted during the day and then of
course pigged out at dinner, etc, tried Atkins too.  I’ve done them all.

 Of course in college, I gained the freshman 15.  Somehow I always managed to get a grip
on myself when I got too heavy. 

During my pregnancies, I put quite a bit on.  With Jessica I gained 30 lbs, Emily 45
and Josh a whopping 60.  After
Jessica, I did Diet Center.  Fred
called it the thousand dollar a pound diet.  I got really thin and it felt great.  The one thing I kept in the back of my
mind was I never wanted to replace my wardrobe so it was essential to get back
to where I was so I could fit back in my jeans.  The weight continued to creep up after every kid but after
Josh I did something I really never did before, I exercised.

 Just because you exercise doesn’t mean you don’t get
fat.  You just get thicker.  About 7 years ago, we went to Jazzfest
and I came back and got on the scaled and freaked.  I did this diet called the Fat Flush and lost 15 lbs.  I stuck with the program for three
months, as in no alcohol.  The
whole family had had enough at that point and so I stopped and kept a watch
over myself by weighing in daily. 
Truth is, I have never got up to that high again. 

 Reading Bruni’s book reminded me of all the diets and all
the highs and lows.  I could write
a book myself but I here I have just written a few highlights. 

I exercise to eat, I only eat good food, I don’t nosh, I shun pasta, pizza,
bread, rice and potatoes ( except on occasion ), I do dessert only on special
occasions and I attempt portion control at all times.  It appears that Bruni came to the same conclusion as he got
older too and had to eat for a living. 
Of course, we all fall back on old habits, and eat ourselves silly on
Sunday because Monday is the beginning of the week and new diet but I figure,
you do only go around once and it might as well be tasty.

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