images-1There is nothing like getting validation.  It can be about anything.  For instance…you look great today, this is an amazing meal you made, I love what you did with your house.   It could also be like this when it comes to business.  Your business mades sense.  You are on to something.  You are doing the right thing by moving in that direction.

Not sure why but for some reason but women crave validation in a very different way than men.  This is purely an observation I have made.  I see it at the Women’s Entrepreneur Festival.  Having a room of 400 women applauding each other at some level creates this inspiring powerful feeling that women definitely do well with.  Men are happy to get it but they don’t need it as much to empower them.

On the other hand, the women of the millennial generation are very supportive of each other.  When I was growing up in business women had very sharp elbows.  Maybe because I was at an all-women’s college but I even see that women’s friendships now are different than they were.  Women cheerlead each other in a way that feel good.

The many women entrepreneurs I work with reach out to me when it comes to working through different things.  Sometimes they just need validation that what they are doing makes sense.  It is like getting a second opinion.

Perhaps more men do this than I have noticed but it just happens differently.  Personally, as a woman, nothing wrong with a little validation now and then.

Comments (Archived):

  1. Matt Kruza

    This is primarily a carry over of gender and social norms from the 1950-60’s leave it to beaver generation and norms (says someone born in the late 80’s… giving you the grain of salt to take it from). So while I think what you say is true (that women may crave it more than men), it is only that way because it is that way. Meaning its not destined to continue. Its not overly “manly” to admit you want validation or have emotional feelings etc.. but that is changing too. So validate away.. I won’t object 🙂

    1. Gotham Gal

      We had this conversation at dinner last night.The men said that if they get validation on something that great feeling lasts awhile. Not sure that works as long with women.Agree that everyone needs a little validation now and then.

      1. Melanie

        Hi, I just stumbled across your blog (it seems great, BTW). I’m a “millenial” female in the physical sciences, who ABSOLUTELY craves validation. And, when I get it, it can buoy me for a long, long time lol. Having a research advisor who is supportive/offers that validation makes the grad school experience a positive one. I’m sure women entrepreneurs look forward to festivals like this. I’ll have to check it out next year!

        1. Gotham Gal


  2. Susan Rubinsky

    Maybe it is generational. I’m 48. I don’t crave validation at all. When I was younger I do remember feeling that I was not valued enough in the corporate world. But I didn’t want verbal validation, I just wanted my directors to buy-in to launch my projects/ideas. I recall that I had to work a hell of a lot harder and provide a lot more data to show the value of projects/ideas I pitched than the men who were my peers did.When I want a second opinion, I just ask for one. Always have. I like getting lots of opinions, especially contrary ones. Contrary ones help you see things you may be blind to and come up with better solutions.There is one thing I think all schools should teach: constructive criticism. I think validation alone is not enough, good constructive criticism focuses on both the strengths and weaknesses of an idea/concept. I think that taking art and creative writing classes, especially in college, really honed my ability to accept and to give criticism. Maybe young women seek validation because they were brought up in that “everyone gets a trophy generation.”

    1. Gotham Gal

      it is certainly “everyone gets a trophy generation”

  3. Sofia Papastamelos

    I definitely crave validation. However something that I am trying to work on is continually asking for feedback. I think a lot of women would be surprised at the amount of validation they’d receive by asking for feedback, and, if not, they’d walk away with a clearer idea of what they need to do to get on the right path.

  4. Emily Merkle

    awesome job with the clip art on this piece 🙂