Has Anything Changed in 25 Years?
We lived in the suburbs when the kids were young. Jessica was 3, Emily was one and Josh was a glimmer on the horizon. We left when Jessica was 8, Emily was 6 and Josh was 3. Our hearts were in the city and financially we could make that move back to our beloved concrete jungle of NYC. For us, it was the best move of our lives on multiple levels.
One of the things that drove me crazy in those days were the men vs the women. I felt like I was living in the 1950’s. We would go to parties and all the men would go into one room and the women in another. It was a social study for sure. Granted I was home with our kids then so the men went off to work and the women were at home and perhaps that dynamic creates something that made me uncomfortable. I even found the powerhouse women who had now chosen to stay home being subservient to their husbands.
Fast forward, I have a friend who just made the big move to stay home for a few years. She still has her toe in the work world doing a freelance project but she is not getting up every morning going to an office. Her life has shifted. She is driven, smart and maternal. All strong qualities.
She has found herself in the city finding new friends who are in the same boat she is in. Very similar to what I was when I chose to go back to work under my own terms which meant staying home an extended period of time to be a full-time Mom. I loved those days. She is going to play dates, as I did, and finding the dynamic not so different from the one that I witnessed 25 years ago. The men come from work but don’t embrace her as an equal but just part of the wive’s home life. Why?
I continue to hope for equality in the home and that means more men staying home to raise the kids for a period of time vs the women. Having children is a group effort. Just because one job is outside the home and one is inside the home doesn’t mean that one should be treated any different. When will we get to the place where everyone is treated equally among their peers regardless of the path they are on at that time of their life?