One of my dearest friends in the world lost his Mom a few months back. The memorial was this past week. The event was a celebration of her life. Different views and relationships with people were part of her life, from children to friends to organizations such as the Rockefeller Museum, Carnegie Hall, and Lenox Hill Place. She lived quite a life.
What I like about a memorial is we get to hear stories about this woman’s life. I had no idea that in 1997, she led the charge to establish Rockefeller’s Women & Science Initiative with three other powerful women. These women changed the university’s trajectory, which had lost its way. There were other organizations where she made an incredible impact, such as the Lenox Hill Neighborhood House and Carnegie Hall. Although I have known his Mom for probably 25 years, my relationship has always been through his eyes.
Our friend’s brother poignantly pointed out that when someone dies, that doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. That relationship is still inside you. Those memories are still there. The hardest part is that the relationship is now one-sided. You can never evolve together, work out issues, and delight in new times together.
Family can be brutal. I worked hard at not being my parents, but the lessons, morals, and values still live deep inside me and propelled me to who I am today. I heard that from my friend as he spoke about his Mom. He became the person he wanted to be, which was not easy. I have learned to let my kids live their lives, not the ones I want them to. That is not easy.
These women were from another generation, which was frustrating and challenging. It was not always easy to be a strong woman with her own ideas, where expectations of how to be were set in stone. Women today have more choices (thank god) and can forge their own paths. It isn’t always easy, but we need to look at women of these past generations to truly understand that women of today are standing on the shoulders of women like my friends Mom and my Mother.
I went back and read a post I wrote about my Mom when she died in December 2010. Like my friend’s Mom, she was a complicated woman, much more than I ever realized. As I sat at the memorial and looked around at people I knew and her friends, I laughed to myself, hearing my Mom’s voice in my head. She would have said, “It’s fucking weird getting old”.
I am a huge lover of film and went to at least one or two movies a week when the kids were growing up. Due to streaming, I see countless films and try to see all the “Oscar” worthy flicks pre-award ceremony—nothing like chiming in from the couch.
Someone recommended I go back and watch Auntie Mame, a movie I had not seen since elementary school, so I did. The film was made in 1958 and set in 1928. There is nothing better than a film to lock in time so we can see how far we have come or not. I recently saw Love Story and was also a bit blown away by a few things that would never happen in 2024; at least, I would hope not.
Aunt Mamie is played by Rosalind Russell, who is fantastic. She plays an aunt who is the only relative left to care for her brother’s child, Patrick, who had put together tight restrictions with a conservative executor of the will; god forbid he ever died so that his son would not be drawn into the “unconventional” ways of Mame’s life.
That means her flamboyant NYC lifestyle with decadent parties, gay men, lesbians, nudists, writers, and free-spirited artists. When Patrick comes to live with her, he takes notes just to understand what they are talking about. Then there is the crash of 1929, and Mame goes to work. She attempts to send Patrick to a progressive downtown school, but the conservative trustee of the bank will have nothing to do with it. In the end, Patrick goes to an uptight boys boarding school, although always coming back to visit Mame.
Over time, Patrick falls to the ill wills of the conservatives, finds a girl to marry, and meets her family of anti-semites. How they talk about Jews in the film is mind-blowing, but Mame will have nothing to do with that behavior. Remember that multiple characters in this play take a page out of stereotypes. Eventually, Patrick sees these people for what they are: small-minded bigots. It could be a page out of politics today.
Even in Love Story, Ryan O’Neill, Ali McGraw’s husband, got her diagnosis from the doctor instead of the doctor telling her directly. They also drive in a car that should not be on the highway. McGraw even attempts to get O’Neill to make nice with her father because he is turning 60 and might not have much time left!
Few films can stand up to the test of time; Aunt Mamie does. She was ahead of her time. She was a woman on her terms. She was a true socialite in a good way. The movie reminds me of how far we have come and how far we still have to go.
Tossing a wrench into anything creates change. Cannabis is a wrench. Finally, this past week, the DEA, which has the final authority on cannabis, has recommended easing the restrictions. The hope is when the DEA formally announces changes; it will take cannabis to a schedule three drug vs. schedule one, allowing research, banking, and essentially Federally legalizing it. In classic American form, lawsuits will fly everywhere after this. Cannabis companies, dispensaries, and farms will want to be able to ship their products across state lines. Every single person in the cannabis industry is waiting for this.
Then there is the fact that over 70% of Americans want to legalize cannabis federally, and it is now sold legally in 24 states, and change is happening daily. Remember that each state has its own set of rules, too.
Fun fact: Connecticut sold over $274m of cannabis in 2023 vs. New York at $150m. The states began opening dispensaries roughly at the same time. Over 19 million people live in New York vs. less than 4 million in Connecticut. It is time for NY to figure out how to do the right thing for all NYers, balancing diversity and generating capital for the state. That is the Government’s job. I fear that the next round of licenses will not create the impact that could be made in taxes or make the consumers happy. It is time.
On the other hand, the multi-state operators such as Columbia Care and Curaleaf each paid $5m plus to the state of New York to secure a dispensary license, keeping the number of stores to a minimum, and are opting not to open. Instead, most are only going after the wholesaling of their brands. Why? The market is not that appealing, with 8000 illegal stores operating in New York. I get it.
Then, there are the beverage brands attempting to enter this market. The alcohol market is waning; people consume almost 20% less at arenas and retail. Sales for non-alcoholic beverages have climbed over 30%. When large companies own market share, they do not want to give it up. Cannabis will be a part of their long-term strategies. Recently, Tilray, a cannabis company publically traded on the Canadian exchange, purchased an alcohol brand. What will the arenas do to capture lost revenue?
It should be an interesting 2024 in the world of vices.
Photograph: Josh Andrus for Time Out New York. Full article on Time Out is here.
Gotham
As NYC’s first luxury cannabis and cultural store, Gotham doesn’t just sell marijuana; instead it also stocks art, housewares, candles and fragrances. Find the shop in the Bowery at 3 East Third Street. Founder and CEO Joanne Wilson said the store set out “to change the narrative around what it means to partake in cannabis in your life, that it is more of a lifestyle. It is not a transaction.
Gotham also partners with STRIVE NYC, which helps people who face barriers get jobs.
We sat down with Gotham’s CEO Joanne Wilson and the vice president of marketing Geraldine Hessler to reflect on the business so far.
What has your first year been like so far?
Wilson: Insane. It’s just been a rollercoaster. When we have all these grand ideas of things we can do and we can execute, it’s like, of course, we can do all these things. We have a great team. But here’s the issue: You’re dealing with a highly regulated product. You’ve got to stick to the rules, you’ve got to stick to the law that constantly sort of changes. You’re competing with an insurmountable group of illegal stores and landlords that don’t want to rent to you because it’s cannabis and banks that don’t want to give you money because it’s cannabis. It’s not easy.
Hessler: The cannabis market is full of ups and downs. There’s always something changing. The goalposts are always traveling in different directions. One of the most important things we’ve been able to do is a pivot based on what’s happening in the world of cannabis, but at the same time, stay true to our brand and who we are. We classify ourselves as a cannabis concept space; it’s more than just a dispensary.
Anything surprising?
Wilson: The one thing that I did not expect is the lack of the law taking out the illegal stores. They’re everywhere. There’s anger particularly among parents. There’s the lack of the state distributing that information out to the public through PSAs or conversations or advertising or media. I don’t think that I thought that my biggest competition would be the illegal market.
Why is it so important that NYC has welcomed dispensaries?
Wilson: If you look at the data for New York State, which appears to be the largest group of smokers in the country, how much revenue will be driven into this state because of cannabis. That includes jobs, social equity, all the things. As a dispensary owner, because of all of the history, we feel we’ve done the right thing, we have a very diverse group of people at the top and in the store. Everyone who is full-time in New York, that’s 30 hours or more, you get full-time health care, you don’t have to buy into the system. And we’re doing in-house training to teach people about finance for their own personal needs. So all of these things that I will hope that other owners of businesses do in our future. And I think it’s just good for New York State.
Hessler: So much damage was done with the war on drugs. By making cannabis legal in New York, it allowed people to consume. It’s so important. It’s a plant, it’s not a drug. Cannabis being legal is another step in the right direction.
What would you change about the process?
Wilson: I would change the way the whole thing was set up. The Office of Cannabis Management is set up in a way that there’s oversight on so many different angles that I’m not so sure they should have oversight of. I think that it has been too heavy-handed, that there hasn’t been enough power from the governor, or even different entities that usually get involved in that. So they have a tremendous amount of responsibility in a brand new industry, which is heavily regulated by the federal and the state governments. I think that that has created some of the laws that were made around it and the slow rollout of how this works, even where things are located, who gets the licenses. I think they all had good intentions and still have good intentions, but we could have learned a lot from other states in how we went about this.
How are you doing your dispensary differently?
Wilson: It’s a lifestyle, it’s a concept store. We source in Europe, we source in Japan, there are things in our store you can’t buy anywhere else. Our people are insanely well-versed and we hear that from everyone that walks in the door. They have to go through a very rigorous program that is taught internally, so they really understand the product and how they’re selling to whatever the needs are on the other side. It’s a store that has also created community. We have events all the time and we see people return to the events. It’s a place where you just kind of want to hang out. It feels good, it doesn’t feel transactional.
What are your most popular products?
Wilson: There’s always new products, so it depends on the week. The Gotham private-label CBD balm blows off the shelves. We have a particular incense match we can’t keep in the store. We do really well with fragrances and candles. The products are pretty equal in sales of vapes, gummies, and pre-rolls.
What is the most exciting part of your role?
Hessler: The campaign we launched in October was super exciting. It’s our “Say High” campaign, which leans into legalization in New York. “Say High” meaning come in and say hi at Gotham. “Say High” meaning it’s legal, you don’t have to hide what you’re doing anymore. In addition to that, when you say something out loud, you kind of take ownership of it. We are embracing this high lifestyle, this cannabis culture, this new way of cannabis existing in New York.
What is next for cannabis in NYC?
Wilson: One of the things the state should have done and still can do is they gave all these people golden tickets with no capital. I feel that New York state should have created a $400 million fund, that they backed every single loan at 5%. At that level, a bank would have backed it. And if they end up not succeeding, that license goes back to the state and they sell it at whatever the price is at that point. I think the state would make money back in spades. The amount of jobs that would create for multiple people and multiple success for business owner dollars is worth every single penny. And they didn’t do that.
What about for Gotham?
Wilson: We applied for two more licenses, and we hope that we get them and that we open.
What is your favorite way to enjoy cannabis?
Hessler: I have a lot of ways. I love edibles for sleep or just relaxing at home. In the summer, I’ll go for a long run and then crack open a cannabis seltzer. Tinctures are great for sleep. I do love pre-rolls; my favorites are the pre-roll mini packs.
Wilson: I’m old school. I still like to smoke a joint, and there is something communal about that, too.
I love chowder. There is always a clam chowder on the menu around town in the summer out east. It has been cold in NYC, and I have been cooking on Sunday nights, so chowder seemed like the way to go. This was so good and easy.
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ pound thick-cut bacon, diced (you could easily use more)
2 leeks, tops removed, halved and cleaned, then sliced into half-moons
2 carrots, peeled and halved, then sliced into half-moons
2 parsnips, peeled and halved, then sliced into half-moons
2 medium-size all-purpose potatoes (I prefer Yukon Gold) cubed
1cup dry white wine
3 sprigs thyme
2 bay leaves
2 cups heavy cream
1/4 pound firm white fish fillets, cut into small pieces
1 pound sea scallops, sliced into half
1 lb shrimp, peeled and sliced in half
4 cups fish broth or chicken broth
Add one tablespoon of butter to a large pot, melt, and then add the bacon. Saute until crisp, about 5-7 minutes; take out with a slotted spoon and set aside.
Add the leeks and saute until lightly browned (another 7-8 minutes). Add another tablespoon of butter, carrots, parsnips, potatoes, and wine. Boil down the wine until it is almost gone. Add the thyme and bay leaf ( I like to put the herbs in a small herb pouch) and the four cups of broth. Partly cover the top of the pot and simmer for about 10-15 minutes or when the vegetables become soft but not too soft.
Add the cream, and take out the herbs. Let this come to a simmer, and add all the fish. The fish should take 5-7 minutes. I stirred the pot a few times and added some pepper and salt for taste.
I have read some stories about future changes that cost significantly, but the reward came back in spades.
For instance, a school district installed solar panels that saved enough kilowatts of energy through a $250k expense that generated almost $2m in surplus. That allowed them to raise teachers’ salaries. Someone is thinking.
Then I read about a downtown area that had not changed since the 50’s but decided to bring in greenery and walking areas. The entire area became so inviting that it changed the community, brought in businesses, and, in turn, tax revenue. Someone here is thinking, too.
We should all think like this: instead of cutting taxes, how about spending them wisely to create economies? I witness and work with too many Government agencies that have not changed but are layered with red tape, jobs that don’t need to exist, and costs that make zero sense. The money that goes into many of these agencies is just enough to keep the seats in the chairs. It is time for people in local government to shake the leaves and look to the future.
When I read about these types of changes, it always brings a smile to my face. I have become so cynical from the white noise of absurd rhetoric that these changes represent a glimmer of hope. The future always wins.
I read the other day that, on average, Americans read at a 7th grade level. That is not very uplifting. European countries do much better than we do. Have we ever wondered why? Does our country spend time looking at other countries’ education systems that solve issues that we should be solving?
Obesity is another one. In Europe, on average, the obesity rate is at 15%. In America, the average obesity rate is 36%. That is a significant difference. Do we wonder why we have come to a point where ozempic or gastric band surgery is the suggested answer to obesity problems? Perhaps it is how we farm our food and processed food from the grocery store. Or is that too costly to change?
Forty-five percent of homes own a gun, and the average owner owns five firearms. Our citizens own the most guns by a long shot. How could any intelligent individual actually believe that it is mental health, not guns, that has set off an epidemic of gun shootings? America has a low supply of mental health workers, while other countries have a robust supply.
These are three serious issues our country has seen creep up to epidemic proportions. Still, somehow, we do not see somebody leading either of these problems through significant changes based on actual data. Instead, we seem to allow pharmaceutical companies to change the problem, lobbyists to keep guns in the hands of any American, and little funding to have mental health counselors in public schools. Why?
We are about to witness one of the nastier Presidential elections in history, with one side not talking about any of the issues but instead playing the blame game with hate and disdain vs empathy and vision for change. I look at these stats that are only taking place in America and wonder how did we get to this place and how can we make significant changes with leaders of a completely different generation. I fear we can’t.
We were in Paris in November and had lunch at Banh Mi Angela in the Marais. The sandwiches are incredible, but that soup!
Angela’s soup was served with Vietnamese dumplings with a handful of cilantro leaves over the top. The soup was rich and delicious. Angela shared her recipe with me. She puts a chicken and water in a pot and keeps it on low for three days, and voila.
I have been thinking about making it since November. As the year wound down, I had time to give it a whirl. The soup is incredible, and I learned many lessons.
I put a chicken in a large stock pot and filled it 3/4 of the way to the top. I did not need this much water, so halfway up would have been the right amount. I brought the water to boil to start and then turned it down to low and partly covered for the next few days. There is no need to cover the pot; let the water slowly boil down.
After three days, I realized the soup was not rich enough, so I shifted gears and turned the heat up so the soup could boil down. After a few hours, the soup got very rich. I added some soy sauce and balsamic vinegar (although I would use Black Vinegar if I had it) to give the soup a kick. I also drained the soup and shredded the chicken. The chicken is so good. We used it in the soup, but it would make an incredible chicken salad.
The soup needed some doctoring, but this recipe is to be made again and again and again. It is a heartwarming broth for the records. When we are back in Paris, I plan to go to lunch again at Banh Mi and ask Angelas for a few more tips.
Young girls are talked to differently than young boys. Girls are told they are beautiful, and if they aren’t good at something, that is okay, that they should try something else. Boys are advised to keep on trying no matter what. Hence the saying, boys will be boys. Boys tend to learn through physical movement and pictures, while girls tend to learn through communication.
That behavior and words start in childhood, and the impact continues. I have witnessed countless men behave with swagger and confidence even when they have zero idea what they are discussing. Most women ensure they have crossed their ts and dotted their i ss before answering the question or doing the job.
I have written about this since I began writing this blog. The good news is that more women are rising to the top of their fields, men are embracing parental roles, and some even find themselves not being the primary breadwinner. Workplaces have more diversity, although plenty of work still needs to be done. When I look back at historical photos, see old movies, or read history books, there is no doubt that women’s societal roles have changed….although there is always more work to do.
I am a huge puzzle person. I do a handful of puzzles every morning before moving into my day. Recently, I was solving a New Yorker puzzle where the question was “working_.” Working what? The answer was Mom. I was a bit stunned because words do matter.
Why are working women still referred to as working moms? I have heard of working parents but not working dads. I still hear from younger moms with kids in school that there are the full-time working moms, the part-time working moms, or the moms who stay home. Why isn’t that vocabulary used to describe men?
As we start 2024, remember that society might change, but words still matter.
My brother told me a story he had told me before, and I was happy to hear it again. It is a story about four generations and a brisket.
The youngest of these four generations was making a brisket. Of course, she had learned the recipe from her Mother, and then her Mother had learned it from her Mother, and the same is true for the oldest generation.
As she made the brisket, she cut it in half before putting it in the pot. She wondered why they always cut it in half, so she called her Mom to find out. Why do you cut the brisket in half before putting it in the pot? Of course, the answer was that is how my Mom did it, so I just followed suit. You will have to call your Grandma to find out.
The answer was the same from her Grandma; my Mother did that. The good news is her Mother was still alive and had her wits about her. She asked her great-grandmother why she always cut the brisket in half before putting it in the pot.
Her great-grandma said we lived in a tiny apartment with a tiny oven, so the only way we could fit the brisket in the oven was to cut it in half to fit in a small pot for the little oven.
Understanding history is essential, but realizing it might not apply to today’s world is an entirely different realization.
